Impact of Being "Too Young"

This will probably be a longer post of mine but I wanted to share this topic here because I want to share something that sits deeply on my heart. That's exactly what my blog is mainly focused on, is just sharing things that are top of mind for me in hopes that someone out in the universe can relate, and maybe sharing my thoughts can be helpful!

One of my biggest insecurities is my age. Not necessarily the specific number or the fact that we grow older but how one views or treats you based on their age.

I have always had a running narrative that I have been told about myself since I was very little. I think it stemmed from being an only child and spending a significantly larger amount of my time growing up around adults. Then it only continued when I started to step into following my desires in life and that propelled me a few years “ahead” of where peers my age are.

The narrative is that I am too young. How that frequently sounds like is: “You’re too young”, “But you’re so young”, “You don’t get it or won’t understand because you're so young”, “How would you know, you’re so young”, “Wait, but you’re so young to have done that”, “But you’re so mature for your age”, “How do you know that song, you weren’t even alive when it came out”, and “What do you know? You haven’t experienced anything.”

My hope that as you read those you are starting to see where we are headed and why these are not great things to say. Something that might surprise you is how frequently I hear these things. In just this past year of my life these phrases have been said in some variety on a weekly basis. I will note that some of these may sound like a phrase of encouragement and though seemingly harmless, all of these phrases lead to feeling unfit, insufficient, othered, just for existing. It also can feel like being put into a bucket that you can't get out of (you can't change your age) because it doesn’t allow a safe space to grow and learn and make mistakes.

So we have talked about my challenges about the “too young” narrative. Something that also sits right at the intersection of this narrative is that I also find myself getting told I am “too old'' or “too adult” for being my age. This has looked like being pushed away from peers my age because I don’t fit in in those spaces anymore because I don’t use the same speech, I am seen as too boring or too serious, too invested in my work, “doing too much” or being too adult/independent. I don’t always share the same desires or wants as peers my age.

So where do I land with these narratives being a constant from those around me?

In full honesty, I never know what table to sit at. I am too young for folks who are older than me, but I am too old for those my age. At times this can lead to feeling a bit lost and unwanted. It can also feel like I am undeserving of my current position in life, like I shouldn’t be where I am at. It leads me to feel inexperienced, incompetent and inadequate, and at the end of the day I feel like I am too much or too little. I can never just be and just live in my truth, my reality or my accomplishments.

I’m a girl stuck in the middle! I find myself trying not to disclose my age in every setting I enter, to save myself from the comments that will follow.

Something I believe full-heartedly is that age is just a damn number. It just signifies how long I have been walking in this world. My age number does not account for all the experiences I have had in life. It can’t account for my travels, the people I have met in life and learned from, the time I have spent trying to continuously be a good person, or the challenges I have gone through in life or just the knowledge I have from being curious and having cool parents that never let me be uninformed in all realms of knowledge.

So what would it look like to just talk about our lives, accomplishments and experiences, without having to compare it to what we expect someone in society should or should not have done or known by a certain age? What would it look like to throw age out? What if we just looked at life experience and how people present themselves in the world?

I have never questioned how I have accomplished everything I have by 24--Not once. Because at the end of the day I’ve done the damn thing. I have goals I am determined to make happen, experiences I am still seeking out, and growth that I am always reflecting on. I am just out here following my passions, hustling day after day to be able to do what I love, and living a life that is healthiest for me by realizing that has meant becoming more independent.

I believe that what everyone hopes for in life is just to fit and be accepted for who they are authentically. As an Enneagram Type 2, I know that this is my core desire.

For those still reading, I’d like to pose a few questions to you.

Why do we focus on age?

Does this come from personal insecurities that we then project onto others?

How can we better recognize one another and each other's accomplishments and experiences without using age as a qualifier?

Comment and let me know your thoughts, I would love to hear from you all!!

Thank you for taking the time to read!